“How are you doing?”
This seems like a simple, well-meaning question, but Stephanie O’Leary, PsyD, clinical psychologist and author of Parenting in the Real World, explains that it has a loaded answer for any woman who has recently experienced a miscarriage. “The honest answer is likely somewhere between horrible and devastated, but posing the question puts your friend in a position to either cover up her feelings or delve into emotions that can be overwhelming,” she says. Instead, she suggests trying to communicate your support and your sympathy directly by saying, “I’m so sorry about your miscarriage.” “This is a concrete way to express your intentions that can be managed with a simple ‘thank you’ reply from your friend,” Dr. O’Leary says. If you prefer written communication, here’s how to write the perfect condolence note.
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