الأحد، 31 يناير 2016
10 Evidence-Based Health Benefits of Honey
Since ancient times, honey has been used as both a food and a medicine. It’s very high in beneficial plant compounds, and offers several health benefits. Honey is particularly healthy when used instead of refined sugar, which is 100% empty calories. Here are the top 10 health benefits of honey that are supported by science. […] The post 10 Evidence-Based Health Benefits of Honey appeared first on http://ift.tt/1aS7CX7
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السبت، 30 يناير 2016
الجمعة، 29 يناير 2016
8 Things People With Diabetes Wish You Knew
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Cook Perfect Eggs: 4 Breakfast Tricks You’ll Want to Use Over and Over
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9 Fast Facts You Need to Know About the Rapidly Spreading Zika Virus
1. What exactly is the Zika virus?
The Zika virus is a mosquito-borne illness spread primarily by the yellow fever (Aedes aegypti) mosquito, which is found in the United States in Florida, along the Gulf Coast, and in Hawaii, but has been seen as far north as Washington D.C. The Asian tiger (Aedes albopictus) mosquito can also transmit the Zika virus, and travels as far north as Chicago and New York in warm temperatures.
The Zika virus was first discovered in Ugandan monkeys in 1947. It spread to the South Pacific and caused an outbreak on Yap Island in the Federated States of Micronesia in 2007. The island’s population was too small for scientists to observe whether the virus caused side effects like birth defects or neurological damage. Symptoms—fever, joint pain, red eyes, and rash—are often ignored or considered the flu.
In early 2015, Brazil experienced a spike in Zika cases, and the virus quickly spread throughout other parts of the Americas. It could have been introduced in 2014, when Brazil hosted the FIFA World Cup and an international canoeing competition. The Zika virus is now in 23 countries in the Americas.
By 2016, health officials in Brazil had noticed another disturbing trend: Rates of microcephaly, a rare birth defect in which an infant is born with an abnormally small head, were rising rapidly. More than 4,000 cases of microcephaly have been reported in Brazil since authorities began investigating the surge in October. Fewer than 150 cases were reported in 2014.
2. So, the Zika virus causes microcephaly?
Scientists aren’t positive, but it’s strongly suspected. Little has been studied about the virus until now since it typically doesn’t cause serious symptoms. Microcephaly is often not detected until after the second trimester of pregnancy, but children born with it may face developmental challenges, learning disabilities, or physical limitations.
“Infants who have a neurological problem such as microcephaly can have problems with a lot of their basic functions,” says Amanda Moen, MD, a pediatric neurologist at Gillette Children’s Specialty Healthcare. “It might be difficulty walking or talking, or it might be difficulty coordinating a swallow.” Trouble eating raises the risk of an infant aspirating milk, which can lead to potentially fatal pneumonia or respiratory infections.
The Zika virus has also been linked to Guillain-Barre syndrome, a neurological syndrome that can cause paralysis, leading experts to believe the virus may somehow affect the nervous system.
3. How would I know if I had Zika?
Most people don’t know when they’re infected, a reason the virus is difficult to track. “Eighty percent of people who get this [virus] don’t even know they have it,” says David Colombo, MD, division chief of maternal fetal medicine at Spectrum Health Medical Group.
Symptoms are usually mild. Along with fever, joint pain, rash, or conjunctivitis (red eyes), an affected person might experience headache and muscle pain. Hospitalization is uncommon, and symptoms generally only last up to a week. However, if you notice symptoms after you’ve visited an affected region, see a doctor right away.
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4. Am I still at risk for Zika if I haven’t traveled to a high-risk country?
There are no reports of local transmission in the United States, but there have been more than 30 cases of Zika infection among American citizens who visited areas affected by the virus, according to the CDC. There is a rare possibility that semen may carry the virus, but evidence is anecdotal.
“For the average American who is not traveling, this is not a problem,” Anne Schuchat, MD, of the CDC told reporters.
The states where the Zika virus has been confirmed among travelers returning from affected countries are: Hawaii, Arkansas, California, Florida, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Hawaii, New Jersey, Oregon, New York, Virginia, Texas, and the District of Columbia.
5. Can the Zika virus be prevented or cured?
There isn’t a vaccine or treatment for the Zika virus. The World Health Organization (WHO) stated it is taking steps to develop a vaccine, though it’s unlikely one will be available this year.
“I am encouraged by the fact that we do have a commercially available dengue vaccine this year, for the first time ever,” said vector biologist Laura Harrington, chair of the Department of Entomology at Cornell University, in a media video. “It is made within the backbone of the yellow fever vaccine, one of the most effective vaccines ever made. I suspect a good starting point would be trying to use that approach to design a Zika vaccine.”
6. What precautions should pregnant women take about the Zika virus?
If you’re pregnant and planning to visit (or recently visited) an area affected by Zika, and you’ve experienced symptoms of infection during your trip or two weeks after, the CDC suggests you consult your doctor and have a blood test taken.
Even if you don’t have symptoms, the CDC recommends ultrasounds for all women who have traveled to affected countries to detect if their fetuses are developing microcephaly. Unfortunately, there’s nothing that can be done to reverse the defect. However, early detection could help prepare families for the child’s needs.
“A family who is aware of a potential birth defect such as microcephaly can appropriately plan for the needs of this infant, which are going to be different from the needs of a healthy infant,” says Dr. Moen. “These mothers can then say, ‘I’m going to need a neurologist in addition to a pediatrician.’”
Government officials in Brazil, Ecuador, Colombia, and El Salvador have gone as far as to advise women to refrain from getting pregnant for up to two years. It might not be an easy solution, though: Contraceptive use in Latin American women is among the lowest in the world. Emergency contraceptive is often difficult to access, expensive, or illegal. Amnesty International estimates that more than 50 percent of pregnancies in Latin America are unplanned, and even for women who aim to abstain from sex, experts say high rates of sexual violence and strict abortion laws in Latin America may make the recommendations difficult.
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7. How will the Zika virus affect the 2016 Summer Olympics?
The Rio 2016 Summer Olympics begin in Brazil August 5. A spokesman for the Rio Olympics organizing committee said there have been no discussions about moving or canceling the Games because of Zika virus, and that teams were inspecting Olympic venues daily to eliminate problems such as sitting water where mosquitoes can breed.
“Dealing with mosquito breeding grounds goes a long way, but I don’t know if there’s any way to know if that’s going to be enough,” says Christina Leonard Fahlsing, MD, an attending physician of infectious diseases at Spectrum Health Medical Group. “We won’t know until after. They’re doing a lot to decrease risk, but they certainly cannot eliminate the risk.”
The temperatures will be colder in Brazil (where it is now summer) during the games, which may kill off mosquito populations and lower risk.
8. Could Zika become more of a threat in the U.S. when the weather gets warmer?
The WHO estimates that 3 to 4 million people across the Americas will be infected within a year. Sixty percent of Americans live in areas where Zika can be transmitted during the summer. However, living conditions in the United States will likely make the country less susceptible to the spread of the virus.
“Our living conditions in general don’t favor the transmission of these viruses as easily as in other countries,” says Dr. Leonard Fahlsing. “In poorer countries, it is explosive because people live so close together and may not have windows or air conditioning. I don’t see [Zika] spreading as quickly in this country as it has in Brazil.”
9. If I’m not pregnant (or planning to be), should I worry about going to an affected country?
Not if you strictly adhere to birth control. Women who become unexpectedly pregnant during or after a trip to an affected area will need to face blood tests, monthly ultrasounds, and likely quite a bit of anxiety.
If you’re concerned, talk to your doctor before you travel. He or she may recommend precautions such as staying in places with air conditioning, using and reapplying insect repellent as directed, wearing long-sleeved shirts and long pants, or sleeping under a bed mosquito net.
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Lung-Irritating Chemical Found in Flavored E-Cigs
Highest levels seen in cherry versions, but levels still far below federal safety standards
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Eating Out With Diabetes: 8 Menu Words to Avoid
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Where the Candidates Stand on Health Care Issues
WebMD looked at where presidential hopefuls from both parties stand on various health care issues -- including the health care reform law (the Affordable Care Act, also called "Obamacare"), Medicare and Medicaid, the price of prescription drugs, and abortion.
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U.S. Weighs Blood Donation Changes Over Zika Virus
Temporary ban might be imposed on travelers returning from countries where the virus had taken hold
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Lead Poisoning Risk From Cosmetic Clay: FDA
Agency tells users of Bentonite Me Baby to stop using product, get checked by their doctor
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Resistance to HIV Drug Growing, Study Finds
Problem affects almost two-thirds of those taking tenofovir in sub-Sahara Africa
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Mom's Diabetes, Obesity Tied to Higher Autism Risk
Combination may nearly quadruple risk, researchers say, but their review did not prove cause-and-effect
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Boys Victims of Dating Violence, Too
Survey of 'at risk' teens finds males as likely as females to suffer abuse
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Immunity Genes for E.Coli Found
Scientists see DNA as key factor in why illness strikes randomly
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Too Few Older Adults Tell Docs About Memory Loss
Experts believe it's often a taboo subject due to fears of dementia
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9 Tricks Every Procrastinator Should Know to Be More Productive
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The 10 Types of People You Meet at Every Super Bowl Party
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Insomnia May Raise Women's Type 2 Diabetes Risk
Insomnia can disrupt hormones, and may play a role in developing the blood sugar condition, expert says
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Higher Fiber Intake May Improve Lung Function
Best outcomes seen when eating more than 18 grams a day, study finds
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This is Also to Blame for Rising Middle-Age Deaths
Commonwealth Fund also cites stalled progress against killers like heart disease, diabetes
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Does Nutrition Play a Role in ADHD?
There’s no evidence that the behavioral disorder ADHD is caused by diet. However, research suggests that for some people, dietary changes can improve symptoms. In fact, a substantial amount of research has examined how nutrition affects ADHD. This article is an overview of these findings, discussing the foods, diets and supplements involved. What Is ADHD? […] The post Does Nutrition Play a Role in ADHD? appeared first on http://ift.tt/1aS7CX7
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الخميس، 28 يناير 2016
Exercise: Is More Always Better?
If a little exercise is good, then more is better in terms of calorie burn and weight loss, right? That's what most of us tend to believe. WebMD has the details.
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Zika Vaccine Efforts Get Boost From Prior Research
U.S. health officials say valuable lessons were learned during battles against other mosquito-borne viruses
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11 Mind-Blowing Facts About George Washington You Never Learned In School
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As Zika Virus Spreads, Doctors Try to Calm Fears
Public health officials said Thursday they're concerned about the fast-spreading Zika virus, and they're racing to understand its relationship to the troubling rise in birth defects seen in Brazil and other countries. WebMD has the details.
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Hepatitis C Reported at 19 Dialysis Clinics: CDC
Health officials blame lapses in infection control practices
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26 Extraordinary Uses for Petroleum Jelly You Never Thought to Try
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8 Chinese New Year Traditions We Can All Celebrate
Chinese culture is filled with holidays and celebrations, and among them, the Lunar New Year is the very biggest. In China and Taiwan, offices and schools close for a week, and more than 3.5 billion people—in the world’s largest human migration!—are expected to travel so they can ring in the occasion with their loved ones. February 8, 2016, marks the first day of the Year of the Monkey, but before you throw yourself into celebrating, observe these rituals to usher in a successful year.
1. Clean up
Scrub every nook and crevice of your home to rid yourself of the detritus and bad mojo of the previous year—think of it as a very early spring cleaning. You must complete your work by New Year’s Day, and then stow away your broom, mop, vacuum, and Swiffer. Because if you wield these tools on the first few days of the New Year, you’ll sweep or suck away your good fortune.
2. Put your financial house in order, too
If you borrowed money from family or friends last year, pay them back before the start of the New Year; any outstanding loans will bring you misfortune. The same goes for unresolved arguments or grudges, so make nice.
3. Beautify yourself …
A haircut and a new outfit—red is the most auspicious hue, but if it isn’t your color, just be sure to stay away from the unlucky shades of black and white—are must-haves for New Year’s Day. As with cleaning, trimming your hair in the first days of the New Year will result in snipping away good fortune so groom accordingly.
4. … And your home
Decorate your clean, sparkling house with a bowl of oranges or apples, or with live plants (avoid white flowers; they’re associated with funerals). It’s also customary to hang up signs with Chinese sayings and the character fu, which means good luck. But if you choose the latter, display them upside down; this signifies that success is coming.
5. Feast with your family
The most important night for getting together is New Year’s Eve. That’s when you gather with your nearest and dearest for dinner, eating prosperity-begetting dishes like fish (always served whole), dumplings (prized because they’re shaped like gold or silver ingots), and sticky rice cakes. Because New Year’s is a time when young adults are expected to bring home their significant others for inspection, in the past few years a burgeoning industry of boyfriends and girlfriends that you can rent for the holiday has sprung up in China.
6. Be a giver
According to tradition, hong bao—or red envelopes—containing a significant amount of money are presented to children, unmarried adults, and seniors on New Year’s Eve. But technology has blown the custom wide open, and now people of all ages and relationships both send and receive their hong bao via text message. The funds, often as little as US $2, can be deposited into mobile payment accounts.
7. Get out there
While New Year’s Eve is reserved for those you’re closest to, the rest of the holiday is devoted to connecting with your next-level loved ones. Always bring a gift—tea, fruit, pastries, or candy are good choices—on your social calls, but under no circumstances should you give four of anything (for example, four canisters of lapsang souchong). In Mandarin Chinese, “four” is a homonym for death.
8. Set a positive tone for the year
According to Chinese superstition, whatever you do during the New Year’s period will characterize the 12 months to follow. So no crying, no arguing, and no borrowing money for the first two weeks, unless that’s how you were hoping to spend your days.
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Wearable Electric Patch May Ease PTSD
Researchers found symptoms decreased in civilians who tried the device; vets are now being tested
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Most Consumers Satisfied With Health Plans: Poll
The survey by the Kaiser Family Foundation shows that 71 percent of people with insurance believe their services are excellent or good.
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Certain Fruits, Veggies May Aid Weight Control
Study found those who ate apples, pears, berries, peppers had better weight management in long run
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Studies Lacking Youth Antidepressant Effects Data?
New analysis finds much greater risk of aggression, self-harm
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MS Drug Tied to Higher Risk for Brain Virus
Patients taking Tysabri were more prone to show signs of exposure to JCV, which can cause a brain disease
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HIV Can Persist in Body Despite Drug Therapy
Scientists find virus replicates in lymphoid tissue and see a possible target for a cure
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Former NFL Player Tyler Sash Had Brain Disease CTE
Former NFL Player Tyler Sash Had Brain Disease CTE
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How to Clean Jewelry at Home: 12 Everyday Products to Try
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Study Finds No Proof of 'Seasonal' Depression
Rates of mood disorder don't vary by time of year or sunlight exposure, researchers say
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Bedbugs Biting Back Against Insecticide
Researchers find a strong resistance to the most widely used pesticide group
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الأربعاء، 27 يناير 2016
8 Zones Every Organized Pantry Should Have
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Soy May Counter BPA Effects in Women Having IVF
Soy-rich diet combats harmful chemical in those undergoing in-vitro fertilization, researchers report
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13+ Things Your Mail Carrier Won’t Tell You
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6 Health Products That May Be a Waste of Your Money
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Clues to Schizophrenia's Origins Uncovered
Analysis found gene variant prompts too much 'pruning' in brain during teen years
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Excess Weight: 'Unexpected' Boys' Puberty Effect
Sexual maturity slowed in obese kids, but sped up in those who were only overweight, study found
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Zika Virus Travel Broadened for Pregnant Women
U.S. agency says those at risk should avoid U.S. Virgin Islands, Dominican Republic
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Cancer's Financial Burden Tied to Poorer Survival
Economic stress may force patients to forgo vital treatments, experts say
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Parents May Lack Food Allergy Emergency Know-How
Many don't know how, when to use epinephrine, study finds
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8 Revealing Everyday Documents You Never Knew You Should Shred
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Family, Friends of Suicide Victims at Higher Risk
Social stigma can isolate those who are grieving, researcher explains
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Buzz Bissinger: The Incredible Lessons I Learned From My Son With Brain Damage
My son Zach was born with brain damage that occurred during his birth. His brother Gerry—older by three minutes—is fine. Zach is now 24, but his comprehension skills are roughly that of an eight- or nine-year-old. He can read, but he doesn’t understand many of the sentences. He can’t add a hundred plus a hundred, although he does know the result is “a lot.” I took him to see the movie Spartacus when he was nine, and after a blood-flowing scene at a Roman villa where Kirk Douglas single-handedly killed two million buffed-up soldiers with a plastic knife, he turned to me and said, “Look, Dad! A pool!” He has always loved pools.
As Zach grew out of childhood, I never knew how much he would understand. While his vocabulary expanded rapidly, his knowledge of what words meant did not keep pace. When I tried to explain something abstract, I could sense him sifting through his hard drive with its millions of data points. But the hard drive did not help him with concepts like preventive health measures or racism. He knew who the president was but not Osama bin Laden. He knew something terrible had happened on 9/11, but when the anniversary came, he called to wish me a “happy 9/11!”
Instead, our relationship had been largely predicated on games. He loved goofy hypotheticals: What would happen if he did something I told him he could not do. When I kissed him good night, he invariably asked me if there was a certain word or name he could not say after I turned out the lights.
“What can’t I say?”
“You can’t say Rick Lyman.”
“What happens if I say Rick Lyman?”
“I will have to come back upstairs.”
Dressed in his usual T-shirt and gym shorts, anticipating the tickling war we referred to as cuddies, he began to giggle. I walked down the stairs and waited at the second-floor landing. He was plotting strategy.
“RICK!” he screamed. (I did nothing.)
“RICK LY!!!!” (I did nothing.)
“RICK LYMAN!!!!!!!!!!!”
I ran back upstairs and banged open the door. It was on. I threw pillows at him. He threw pillows at me. I got ahold of him and tickled. He kicked me in the head. I chased him around the room, became exhausted, and had to stop. He seemed exhausted as well. I rolled the top sheet over him, kissed him good night, and went back downstairs. From above I could hear a pulsating drum getting louder and louder.
“Rick Lyman … RICK LYMAN! … RICK LYMAN!!!”
He could have gone on forever. At any time. At any age. But when he turned 21, after nearly 15 straight years of doing it, I decided it had to stop. I was ambivalent about giving it up, but I could not stand it anymore. It only reaffirmed our frozenness.
“Zach, you’re 21 now. Not six. This is what six-year-olds do. I can’t do it anymore.”
“Sorry, Dad.”
“There is nothing to be sorry about. You’re just too old. You’re 21. What happens when you are 21?”
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“You’re not supposed to do things like that anymore.”
“That’s right. Do you understand why?”
“I’m 21; I’m kinda too old for this now.”
I closed the door to his room.
I stood right outside, then burst back in. “Just don’t say good night.”
It was on again. I knew it was one of the things he loved about being with me. I was scared of losing it.
It is strange to love someone so much who is still so fundamentally mysterious. Strange is a lousy word. It is the most terrible pain of my life. As much as I try to engage Zach, I also run from this challenge. I run out of guilt. I run because he was robbed, and I feel I was robbed. I run because of my shame.
It is strange to love someone so much who is still so fundamentally mysterious.
But whatever happens with Zach, I know I cannot think in terms of my best interests, even if I think they are also in his best interests. Zach will be where and who he will be. Because he needs to be. Because he wants to be. Because as famed physician Oliver Sacks said, all children, whatever the impairment, are propelled by the need to make themselves whole. They may not get there, and they may need massive guidance, but they must forever try.
Buzz Bissinger is an author and a journalist. Zach lives with his father in Philadelphia and his mother in New Jersey.
Father’s Day: A Journey Into the Mind and Heart of My Extraordinary Son, by Buzz Bissinger, Copyright © 2012 by H. G. Bissinger, is published at $26 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing CO., hmhbooks.com.
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6 Little-Known Dangers of Restricting Sodium Too Much
Sodium is an important electrolyte and a main component of table salt. Too much sodium has been linked to high blood pressure, and health organizations recommend that we limit our intake (1, 2, 3). Most current guidelines recommend eating 2,300 mg per day, or less. Some even go as low as 1500 mg per day […] The post 6 Little-Known Dangers of Restricting Sodium Too Much appeared first on http://ift.tt/1aS7CX7
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13+ Secrets Your Florist Won’t Tell You
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الثلاثاء، 26 يناير 2016
9 Adorable Groundhog Facts You Need to Know on Groundhog Day
If you can’t find yourself a groundhog to ogle this February 2nd, simply step outside and recite this old English rhyme:
If Candlemas be fair and bright,
Come, Winter, have another flight;
If Candlemas brings clouds and rain,
Go Winter, and come not again.
It’s an olde knight’s tale that the weather on Candelmas (a.k.a. Crepe Day, Groundhog Day, and February 2nd) will be the exact opposite of the weather six weeks hence—yet somehow, centuries later, a few lines of scientifically suspect verse remain the basis of an annual holiday. How did Candelmas result in our modern Groundhog Day? What did Punxsutawney Phil, famous rodent prophet of Gobbler’s Knob, do to become a national icon and film star? Is Phil single? Read the furry, fascinating answers to these and learn other mind-blowing facts about Groundhog Day.
1. First Things First: Groundhogs are Lousy Weather Predictors
The myth of Groundhog Day is essentially a cuter version of the rhyme above. If a groundhog sees its shadow on February 2nd, winter will last another six weeks. And while Punxsutawney Phil’s handlers maintain 100 percent accuracy in his seasonal predictions, the numbers tell a different story. Stormfax calculated that Phil has seen a 39 percent forecasting success rate since 1887. According to a Canadian groundhog study, this is just 2 percent higher than the average success rate of 37 percent (the most accurate hog-nosticators in their study residing in Yellowknife, Canada, with a 50 percent accuracy). In other words, a gambling man would be better off flipping a coin.
2. Groundhogs DO Have One Secret Talent, Though
What do groundhogs have in common with sleazy construction workers? They both whistle at potential mates. Seriously, they do:
It’s because of this odd adaptation that groundhogs are also known as “whistle-pigs,” and lecherous day laborers known simply as “pigs.”
3. Groundhog Day Could Have Been Badger Day
Modern Groundhog Day evolved from Europe’s Candelmas Day, a celebration of light both literal (the days are growing longer) and religious (Candelmas invokes baby Jesus’ first visit to the Temple in Jerusalem). About halfway between the Winter and Spring Solstices, Candelmas has long been a day of seasonal speculation, though the designated animal weatherman varies from culture to culture. Medieval cults favored bears, holding parties by their dens, gussied up in grizzly costumes and waiting for a bear to lumber out from hibernation and check the weather. English and German Catholics celebrated a similar tradition with sacred badgers. When badgers proved hard to come by for Pennsylvania’s German settlers in the early 1800s, colonists adapted their old-country tradition to an abundant New World animal: the groundhog.
4. You’re Not Supposed to Eat The Groundhog… Anymore
On February 2, 1886, the Punxsutawney Spirit newspaper declared the first official Groundhog Day celebration, hosted by a group of town elders dubbed The Groundhog Club. For this club, marmots were more than furry meteorologists: They were a delicacy. In addition to their Groundhog Day ceremony, the Club also hosted a summertime groundhog hunt and picnic. On the menu: cooked groundhog meat (described by locals as “a cross between pork and chicken”), and something called “groundhog punch,” a combination of vodka, milk, eggs, orange juice “and other ingredients.” For a time, marmot meat was the regional cuisine.
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That began to change in 1887, when a groundhog named Punxsutawney Phil was born. To hear his handlers tell it, he has evaded the dinner plate for 129 years and counting.
5. Punxsutawney Phil Is as Immortal as Bill Murray (Allegedly)
A typical groundhog will live 6 to 8 years in the wild. Punxsutawney Phil, the official groundhog of America’s largest Groundhog Day celebration (and co-star in the hit movie Groundhog Day), has been alive since, uh, 1887. Or, so his website says. To what does Phil owe his impossibly impressive 129 years? A magical elixir called, yet again, “groundhog punch”—presumably, not the same recipe of vodka and eggs that its original authors quaffed. According to the lorekeepers of the modern Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, Phil is fed a single sip of groundhog punch every summer, instantly granting him another seven years of life. (In other words, the opposite of vodka.)
6. What Does an Immortal Marmot do for Fun? Drink and Read.
Phil has seen a lot in the past century, and he is less sheltered than you’d expect from someone who literally lives with his head in the ground. During Prohibition, for example, Phil publicly threatened to impose 60 weeks of additional winter if he wasn’t allowed a drink. Phil has cooled down significantly these days. For that, we can likely thank his wife, Phyllis. Together, Phil and Phyllis enjoy a quiet life together at the Punxsutawney Memorial Library where they live during the 364 days not spent looking for their shadows.
7. Bill Murray Launched Phil’s Career
While Gobbler’s Knob saw its share of tourism every Groundhog Day since the tradition began, actor Bill Murray truly put it on the map. Following the 1993 release of Columbia Pictures’ Groundhog Day, starring Bill and Phil, Gobbler’s Knob started seeing crowds as large as 35,000 people (for comparison, the population of Punxsutawney at the time was less than 7,000). Two years later, Phil was invited as a guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show.
8. Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell Had Phil’s Back in Court (Or, Would Have)
In a 2013 news story barely discernible from The Onion, an Ohio lawyer demanded that Punxsutawney Phil pay for a fraudulent weather prediction—with his life. “On or about February 2, 2013, at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early,” Ohio prosecutor Michael Gmoser wrote in a cheeky open letter. “Contrary to the Groundhog day report, a snowstorm and record low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future, which constitutes the offense of MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING, an Unclassified Felony, and against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio.”
The punishment for this crime? “The death penalty.”
Absurdly, the saga continued when a Pennsylvania law firm openly responded to Gmoser, arguing that the Ohio attorney had no authority to prosecute in Punxsutawney. Furthermore, Phil had a formidable team of character witnesses behind him, as starring in Groundhog Day helped Phil forge “lifelong and loyal friendships with the lesser supporting cast including Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell and Chris Elliot,” the firm wrote. “It is believed that Punxsutawney Phil has already been in contact with Mr. Murray, Ms. MacDowell, and Mr. Elliot, all of whom allegedly pledged to ‘have his back’ should legal action be necessary.” (Unfortunately, it wasn’t.)
9. The Future: Robo-Groundhogs?
We’ve come a long way from eating groundhogs, but their safety is still not guaranteed. On Groundhog Day 2014, New York City mayor Bill de Blasio accidentally dropped Staten Island groundhog Charlotte, resulting in internal injuries that killed her a week later. In 1999, Canadian groundhog celebrity Wiarton Willie died the Sunday prior to Groundhog Day, but the news was scandalously withheld until February 3. Stories like these, compounded by the increasingly large crowds at Gobbler’s Knob, prompted PETA in 2010 to suggest an alternative: replace Punxsutawney Phil with a robot groundhog.
While fears of a cyber-marmot uprising fill your head, consider Washington D.C.’s cheaper solution: Potomac Phil, their anointed groundhog since 2014, is a taxidermied thrift shop purchase.
Merry Candelmas, everyone!
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Jesse Eisenberg: What Do You Do When Your Mother Won’t Shut Up at The Ballet?
Where have you been? It’s starting in five minutes! I hate having to leave your ticket at the box office. Why can’t you just show up on time like a normal person? You think you’d be able to be here early since you’re not coming from a job, a girlfriend, any kind of rich social life, or a commitment to public service. Anyway, I’m glad you’re here. Give me a kiss.
What did you think of that usher? She seems pretty, a little chunky maybe, but nice, right? A nice face. You need to find someone like that. Did you like her? Did you say anything to her, or did you just nod and shut down like you do around any girl who’s not Sarah?
OK, it’s starting. Do you know anything about this ballet? It was $125; you should know what you’re seeing. It was written by Wagner, which is pronounced “Vagner” and who was a Nazi but before Hitler. OK, turn your phone off. It’s starting.
You see, what’s happening now is that she’s in love with those three men? That’s why they’re all holding the roses. And she’s courting them at the same time. Like when you drove all the way to Providence for Sarah’s graduation, and she decided she didn’t have any time for you. But I’m sure she was able to squeeze in some time for what’s his name. Patrick? Are they still together? They deserve each other. She was never right for you. She brought almond cake to the house after your grandmother’s funeral. As if one death wasn’t enough, she wants me to go into anaphylactic shock at my own mother-in-law’s funeral? I’m not telling you whom you should date; it’s not my business, and I respect your “process,” but that girl was an ungrateful hussy who never appreciated you.
Why can’t you stand like that? You look like you’re apologizing even before you open your mouth.
Why can’t you stand like that guy onstage? Look at his posture. His shoulders are back. He has confidence. You look like you’re apologizing even before you open your mouth. You walk into a room, no one notices. He walks onstage, we’re all looking. Look at him; he’s like a walking picture.
Stop nodding off. What did you do all day that you’re so tired? Are you sweating? You smell like you’re sweating.
Look who she’s dancing with now. Quelle surprise! You see? When you stand up straight, she takes your rose. It’s just about the confidence you project. Even someone who looks like you. If you had confidence, people would notice you. There was a kid in a wheelchair back in Elmhurst, but he was so funny, he knew how to laugh at himself, and, in a way, we all liked him.
What she’s doing now is called a pas de chat. It’s French, and we all know how you did in that class, so I’ll just solve the mystery and tell you that it means Step of the Cat.
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Ah, look at that! She just fell! Ha! Clumsy. I could do that. Step of the Cat. I used to dance; did I tell you that? I could’ve been successful if I hadn’t had your sister. She tore my body apart. She’s still destroying me, in a way. I could’ve done that. It looks harder than it is.
Oh, he’s back! Look at him! He’s an Adonis. Do you think he puts something in his pants to fill it out? Your father was the only man I’ve ever been with. Can you believe that? It’s noble, in a way, but I’m not going to heaven for not having any fun.
Can you please pay attention for a second? Your fidgeting is distracting me. I understand you’re impatient. I’ve been impatient too. Like when I was impatient for 36 hours while you took your sweet time ambling down my birth canal. That wasn’t exactly fun for me either. Had I known about the size of your head, I would’ve gotten a Cesarean. Hindsight, right?
OK, what’s happening now is we’re being kicked out because I’m talking too much. The usher, who I initially thought was pretty—Hi, dear!—is escorting us out. And understandably so; I haven’t stopped audibly insulting you since this started, and it’s distracting to the other patrons. She is actually cute, up close. A little flabby in the neck but cute. Try to get her number.
Listen, I can’t drive you home; you’ll have to take the train. Traffic is a nightmare at the tunnel right now.
I’ll see you next week. Try to be on time. I think it was a great idea that we got these season tickets. Give me a kiss. Love you, sweetheart.
Jesse Eisenberg is an Academy Award-nominated actor, a playwright, and a contributor to the New Yorker and McSweeney’s. Read more hysterical essays by Jesse Eisenberg in his book Bream Gives Me Hiccups, available now.
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